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Fiendishly simply billboard from Calm. Ticks most of the boxes of what I think a good billboard should be.
It’s also very smart of them to double down on sleep as their positioning. Previously they were sort of a catch-all relaxation, mindfullness app (that’s headspace territory).
Their Outdoor advertising is a simple promise. Use this app and you’ll sleep better.
Other surfaces, like their landing page and onboarding flow you can see are a little more broad.
I think this is fine, as long as they are not saying totally contradictory things. If Sleep is performing well to grab new users, keep doing it.
Now Calm is grossing more than Headspace on the app store.
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Positivity is Practice
Sunday afternoon. It hasn’t stopped raining all day.
I decide to go for a swim. The pool is only about a mile away, but I need to call a Lyft.
Stephen is my driver.
Stephen turns out to be the most positive person I’ve ever met.
The first thing I notice is the colourful stickies plastered all over the dashboard. There’s one stuck to the steering wheel with random numbers. There’s another that says “Happiness + Gratitude”. There’s another with dozens of ‘roles’, like son, husband, citizen. There’s another with sort of leadership principles. You get the idea.
I’m a bit taken a back. Isn’t this sort of personal development stuff best kept private? What’s he selling?
We start chatting, and he starts reframing everything I say into a positive.
I ask him how his day has been.
“Incredible. It’s been a truly great day.”
Incredible? I wonder. I look out my window. It’s bucketing rain. It’s a prototypical gloomy sunday afternoon. How could this possibly be incredible?
But Stephen seems to think it’s been an incredible day. He’s smiling to himself.
“Have you been busy?” I ask.
“Busy? Not busy, productive.” he replies.
Productive? I start to think about the word ‘busy’. Is it really that negative? Maybe it is.
It’s a short drive, but I need to know more.
I compliment the positive paraphernalia and he immediately starts to tell me about his philosophy. “We only have one minute, so I’ll be quick. First, I decide to be positive. I make the decision.”
“How?” I wonder our loud. “Do you think of…”
He cuts me off. “You’re thinking too much already. You just do it. I used to be like you, always thinking. You just need to be positive.”
He said he used to swayed by things people said to him, or bad luck, or bad weather. But he started to be more careful with the words he used.
He believes that the words we use impact our thoughts and feelings. Our thoughts naturally seep into our speech, and vice versa.
So, his prescription was cut out all that negative self-talk and it’ll change the way you think and feel.
When I talk to someone like this, I really have to control myself. Everything in my being wants to take a contratian view and needle them into making a mistake or contradicting themself. I ask things like “but you must have a bad day”, or “don’t you feel good to rant about a bad day sometimes?”.
I have an urge to cut them down, to grab onto them and shake them. To make them see the world through my eyes.
I’ve learnt that’s a terrible approach for a number of reasons. Stephen’s view of life seemed to be giving him what he wanted, so why hold it up to the light like a science experiment? Who is to say his approach is better or worse?
If the Dalai Lama was riding in the back, listening in on our conversation, he’d probably tell me to shut up and listen.
Listening without judgement is tough. I’m working on it.
We arrive at the pool. He tells me to practice thinking (and speaking) more positively. “When something goes wrong, don’t respond with negative thoughts and words”
I thank him and I rush through the rain to the entrance. I grab the door handle and yank it open.
It’s locked.
“Fuck!”
2018 Review
Where were you this time last year?In New York. Freezing cold. Very unhappy. I felt stuck in an apartment I didn’t like and a job that I had outgrown.
What was the single biggest decision you made?
I left New York and took a job on the west coast. I knew three people in the city (two college friends and a cousin), but it felt like it was time to make a change. My life has changed a lot since moving to the west coast. But if I could sum up the biggest change, is that I’m happier. I wake up every morning with a smile on my face.
Where did you spend most of your time?
San Francisco. I found a room for rent in an old charming Victorian. I could see the street and a fig tree through my window. The first few months settling in (april, may, june) felt like a dream. I made new friends, I surfed, hiked, baked bread, partied. Everyone was friendly. My coworkers cooked and did yoga after work instead of bar hopping. There was no honking at night. The weather was mild. New York had been like a really tough father to me. Under his watch I’d grown a lot, but it had taken it’s toll. In SF, life was easy again. It’s quite hard to explain the value that a change of scenery can have on your mind and life. New York has it beat on almost any level (fashion, regional accents, people, interestingess, music, food, coffee, transit, crime), but it’s the right place for me right now.
Anywhere else?
Mexico. Austin. Las Vegas. Lake Tahoe. Brisbane, Melbourne, Byron Bay. Israel.
What do you wish you did more of?
Reading. Meditating. Public speaking. Problem solving. Getting my hands dirty. Learning new things. More conversations. Networking. Writing.
Did you have an epiphany in a place you visited for the first time this year?
Yes. Things got surprisingly spiritual for me at the Western Wall - Jerusalem. I spent the last 10 days of the year in Israel. It was an important trip on many different levels for me, but the Western Wall was a stand-out moment. I’m still processing the trip and everything I learnt.
Biggest win of the year?
I became a permanent resident. Once I started the process, nearly two years ago, I entered a contract with my sponsoring employer. It was probably the first time in my working life that I was locked in, and I hated that feeling. But getting little green card in my sweaty palms was worth every second.
What am I working towards in 2019?
I don’t think I’ve ever felt as excited about a new year as I have right now. 2018 was about hitting the red button and shooting out of the escape hatch. I’m going into 2019 with a clear head, and a vision of what I want.
Maybe it won’t click
First, bad news.
I hate to tell you this, but new thing you are learning probably won’t pay off for you.
Maybe it won’t click.
That skill that you think will get you ahead in your career. That skill that will get you that promotion, boost your salary and make a real name for yourself. The thing that will secure your job and save you from the robots.
I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen.
You look up, startled, surrounded by textbooks, skin pale and oily from little sleep and lots of caffeine.
“Really?”, you say.
“But… I’m putting in the hard work. I’m sweating! I’m hustling god dammit, isn’t that enough?! I’m doing the work!”
**
To learn or not to learn** ——————————-
Learning is tough. It is, I get it. It’s tough because:
• You can’t just stop everything and do it
• You probably have a day job
• There’s tons of great resources on the internet (no supply problem), but knowing where to focus is hard
• You still need to drive this yourself - Even a really good friend or partner will likely shrug their shoulders at the end of the day and say, hey, at least you tried.
And I’m not saying you shouldn’t be learning new things. You absolutely should.
Learning new stuff is great because:
• It’s fun
• It’s not that hard (or it shouldn’t be)
• If you focus on skills rather than goals, you’re more likely to create luck, opportunities and advantages for yourself.
• And yes, more skills, more value for employers
Let me hustle!
No! You shouldn’t be killing yourself over something that you’re never going to be that good at it. These days it seems fashionable to grind yourself into a dust trying to create an online business or write Python or trade bitcoins. What a waste.
How to Learn without hurting
Instead, figure out as quickly as you can if there’s is a benefit to sticking around and learning this thing, or move on to greener pastures (or things you are naturally better at).
I don’t have any formula to figure out if it’s time to drop it and move on. Perhaps taking a quick review of your mental, physical, financial and relationship health would do.
You shouldn’t be hurting.
Keep moving, keep learning, but if something isn’t working for you, or the chance of a big payoff gets slimmer and dimmer, stop! You’re not doing anyone favours.