Interstate 280, California, 6pm

Sayed is driving me home from the airport and will later find my dropped my wallet.

Josh, listen.

Let’s say I drive 20 people. 10 of those people I will have a conversation with. Of those 10, 5 are divorced. 2-3 are single, dating around. 2 are married.

A lot of people are divorced.

I was married for 7 years. I was unhappy. I’m better off now. After the divorce I was sad for 3 years. I had no money, I drank every night, homeless. But when I was married, I was working 3 jobs. She would ask why we weren’t going on vacations. She didn’t work. I did everything I could. I couldn’t make enough money. It was arranged. Many times arranged can work. My brothers and sisters all are in arranged marriages. They are happy.

Sometimes I think I was too hard. She would say, let’s move to another city, and I would say no. But now, I would say, right now I can’t, I’m working, but yes soon. I was very hard. But that’s how you learn.

I met someone at a gas station. She would come in every day. $10. Fill up $10. No one does that. She told me about a job, I think she’s beautiful. If I like… I don’t (gestures with hand going back and fourth), I say, hey you’re beautiful. I would love to date you. I would love to marry you. We live together now. She’s also divorced and has two kids.

If I knew I would be paying for my kids I never see, rent for houses I don’t sleep in… I wouldn’t.

Maybe I would get married, but never divorced.

September 13, 2019